Why Some Couples Fail
¨ And when the wine was lacking, the mother of Jesus said to him: they have no wine ¨ Jn.2:3
Why do some couples fail?
Because they are not united for the “right reason”.
Many are for the wrong reasons.
Example: I am with that person for his body, if I could have his body but not his person it would be fantastic.
As time goes by, he finds another with a better body and a better person. (One day comes and tells you I have found another better one and leaves you).
I am with you for your money, if I could have your money and not your person, it would be the best.
To have your money I have to have you, what would happen if you lose your money, you lose me too.
There are those who are with someone because they feel good but not because they love them. (IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU, IT'S ABOUT ME).
Some other examples of wrong reasons:
I'm with you because of your immigration status, because of your parents they treat me well.
I am grateful, I am with you because you were my way out of my house.
Why are you with your partner?
These and other reasons lead you to failure with your partner.
We are invaded by bad ideas and negatively influenced.
Tv, novels, Cinema, fantasies, Marketing etc ... At present the image of women is deteriorating, which they are exposing as a consumer product. And not like what a person with feelings is.
Love is not based on fantasy, it is based on truths and realities.
Genesis 2:24 ¨ Therefore, a man will leave his Father and his Mother, and will be united to his wife, and they will be one flesh ¨
Genesis 2:24 ¨ This explains why the man leaves his father and his mother, and joins his wife to form a single body.¨ (TLAI).
What unites us? An exterior or interior motif? It should be an interior motive, I am with him / her for his person, for his qualities, for his treatment, for his attention, for his commitment, responsibility. etc..
The physical deteriorates, money if you do not know how to manage runs out, but love remains.
2.Cor. 4:16 ¨ So let's not get discouraged. Although our body is wearing out, our spirit is gaining strength.¨ (TLAI).
Marriage is a divine act — not for interests
I am with you because you make me feel good, what will happen when you don't make me feel good?
That pact that was made on the altar is broken.
United in health, in disease, in scarcity and in abundance.
Marriage should not be based on sex, but on love, sex is the ingredient that adorns a good relationship.
Do not look at your partner as an object, look at him / her as a person as what God created the ideal help. Someone with feelings, tell him I am with you for who you are.
If he does not know himself, he is not ready for a relationship, if he marries to be happy, he is not ready for a relationship, if he marries because he knows himself he is ready, if he marries to share and give his happiness then he is ready (to).
That is why you see bitter husbands and wives because they do not know themselves and when they wake up their first day with their partner they cry out to heaven like Jacob and say: God is not this. (Genesis 29: 22-25 Jacob-Lea).
When you don't know yourself, suddenly you wake up 10 years later and say what I'm doing with this man, who doesn't even know his name.
How can you be intimate in a relationship with a person you don't know? One of the sure failure mistakes is not knowing each other, first they go to bed and then they want to know each other.
Important priorities in a relationship:
When, how, where and with whom.
I want to restore my relationship with my partner, form second nature
Romans 12: 2 ¨ that you do not conform to this age, but that you be transformed by the renewal of the mind, so that you know how to discern what the will of God is, good and perfect. ¨ (Nacre Colunga).
Renovation: return something to its original state, leave it as new.
It is necessary to form new habits, exercise, time together, travel, distraction. Get out of the routine that extinguishes the passion, change restaurants, leave McDonald's and the Chinese.
Ephesians 5: 29,33 (26) the woman is asked for respect, the man is required more than that, remember the woman is the recipient - the man is the sender (da) the woman is sanctified by the treatment of the man, if you mistreat her, don't expect respect
What are you giving? What are you getting?
You can have access to the minister, but not to the person, the person closest to them and the wife especially, when someone fails the woman is condemned, but no one knows the intimacy of that marriage, only he and she. Many times things are done incorrectly, but everything has an origin so you and I cannot condemn anyone who had a failure.
The Bible begins with a marriage, Jesus is born into a marriage, and the Bible ends with a marriage, Christ, and the church.
God has always been interested in marriage, without marriage there is no family.
We are not children of probability, we are children of a miracle and give possibility.
2.Corinthians 5:17 ¨
so that if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; here they are all made new¨
In the renewal and transformation of your marriage apply three key and necessary words.
Thought, Word and Act.
Thought: we are not what we think.
Word: we are not what we say.
Act: we are what we do.
Know your thoughts, analyze what you speak, and what you do will be better.
Many men and women speak more by doing than saying, and children learn more than they see what we say.
John 5:19
Then Jesus answered and said to them: Truly, truly, I say to you; The Son can do nothing by himself, except what he sees the father do; because everything that the father does, so does the son.
Note: if this study has been of help and advice to your marriage, we encourage you to give in the Donation section at the beginning, thus supporting our Marriage Counseling ministry, GOD BLESS YOU.